i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
