I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
