so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
