ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
