Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
