We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
