So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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