The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
