I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize