Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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