New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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