Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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