the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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