What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
