Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
