when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
