i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
