I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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