Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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