I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
