i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
