He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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