nutella sex= disaster
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
