Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
