Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
