would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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