just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
