Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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