were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
