dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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