He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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