Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
