Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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