My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
