The maid of honor just puked.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
