He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
