I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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