Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
