i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
