You're so nebulous sometimes
so let's talk penis.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
