I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
