Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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