my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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