whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
