Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im six kinds of drunk right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
