So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
