marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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