We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
