I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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