also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they're like a gay fantastic four
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
