farters have to be the big spoon...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
