I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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