Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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