It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Houston, we have a blender
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
