I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
