so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
