I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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