I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry about my life...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
