dude i'm inner monologue high
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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