I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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