doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
