Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
